@kay_bee28: Told my mum someone had been shot and she asked with what? I wanted to reply 'with a cutlass' but I want her to pay for masters...
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@TribalSpaceCat: Once I saved 10 kittens from a burning building and yes all the people died but look how cute they are
@Swain_Train47: My favorite thing to do in cities is walk down busy sidewalks, pass by people, and say into my phone "Target is on the move.”
@boring_as_heck: [dumps gatorade on coach after losing the big game] we know how much you hate gatorade you piece of shit