@IamEveryDayPpl: Tom Cruise still does his own stunts at 55 and I just pulled a muscle reaching for the toilet paper...
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@dafloydsta: [speed dating] HER: So what do you- ME: How fast can you order a pizza? HER: I don't- ME: *hits buzzer* NEXT
@Shock_Monster: I am a master ninja with my ability to hide silently when someone rings my doorbell.
@BuckyIsotope: I would walk 500 miles And I would walk 500 more Just to be the man who Walked a thousand miles To throw up on your door