@ahamedweinberg: Tombstones should just say how old the person was. I don't wanna walk around doing grave math.
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@Sarcasticsapien: When I ask someone out and they say no I get uncomfortable and just start clapping and saying "Good answer" like people on Family Feud.
@Book_Krazy: [At Mall] Good cop: CLEAR A PATH PEOPLE! Bad cop: OFFICIAL POLICE BUSINESS Black Friday cop: *Segways past everyone & gets the last HDTV*
@thenatewolf: *waits until a bird falls asleep, quietly creeps beside it's nest* HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO ARE YOU AWAKE!?!! HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS!?!