@dxblarssonENG: Tomorrow is bring your hangover to work day.
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@NoTheOtherJohn: Me: Pull my finger. Doctor: Ok. [finger detaches] Me: AAAAHHHHH! Doctor: AAAAHHHHH!!! ME: haha j/k that's actually why I came in.
@kjmeow: "FOR SALE: blender, like new. Does NOT make things taste like crayons ALSO FOR SALE: wax fruit, slightly scratched."
@SteveMartinToGo: Whenever I hear someone died of natural causes, I think, "Wait a minute. I have that."
@tastefactory: HULK:*smashes a tank* IRON MAN:*flies bomb into space to save mankind* HAWKEYE: I have an arrow w/ your name on it pal, hold on stand still