@longwall26: Tonight, people who are weaker, slower, and dumber than you will deliver bags of treats to your very doorstep. Seize this moment.
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@KeetPotato: wife: can you stop messing around lawyer: im not wife: just read my husband's will please lawyer: that's what it says.. "oOoOoh im a ghost"
@michaelianblack: Now that my kids are getting older, I'm worried I'll never have the opportunity to leave my wife for the nanny.
@Book_Krazy: *pulls up to window* Me: *on phone* Ok, so you want a chocolate shake also? Ok, I'll get two then. *phone rings while its at my ear*