@HonestToddler: Tonight's bedtime story was about three pigs struggling with repeat home invasions. Thanks for the new fear.
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@patnspankme: This orange juice says shake well before drinking. *shakes juice and puts back in fridge then opens beer
@SaraMansford: I know Aladdin can't wish for more wishes, but why can't he just wish for more genies?--My 5 year old and future lawyer, probably.
@TravLeBlanc: Everyone is just looking for that special someone who could do way better but chooses not to for some inexplicable reason.