@HonestToddler: Tonight's bedtime story was about three pigs struggling with repeat home invasions. Thanks for the new fear.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@fro_vo: Hillary: if we aren't careful donald trump could be our next president. Let that sink in Clinton Aide: *opens door* Sink: sorry i'm late
@AngstromHoot: Attenborough has no respect for crabs. Always gives them ridiculous music. They are jesters to him
@ClichedOut: [Sesame Street casting] Exec: ok, what kid role models do we have A grouch, cookie addict, and 2 jobless roommates Exec: Nice, let's roll