@Lakeoconeebldr: Tons of guys wave at me when I drive my wife's car.
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@seandunn76: This total stranger wanted to have a spontaneous tickle fight on the street and...oh...nope, never mind I'm being robbed. Guys I'm being rob
@clarkekant: I wish everyone would stop vaccinating their children. It’s really cutting down these lines at Disneyland!
@CelebrityChez: Just realized after two years that my boss is actually a grapefruit covered in ramen noodles with peanut eyes. Still very afraid of him.
@HomeProbably: People keep accusing me of using the wrong words in my sentences. It's like everyone in my life has turned into a grandma nazi.