@primawesome: Too bad the dinosaurs didn't have a Bruce Willisaurus to fly into space and blow that asteroid up.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jergarl: The Wizard of Oz is my favorite children's book that teaches us that it's ok to steal shoes from someone as long as they're dead.
@just1fool: My dog wouldn't shut up so I told him I killed the mailman. He was jealous but proud of me.
@RoosterMustache: HER: I love sweater weather ME: *holding up an umbrella to protect us from falling sweaters* It's that time of year again already?!