@dreamthievin: Too bad the Kardashian show couldn't be like "The Ring" and kill anyone who watches it.
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@Sir_Strange: I almost died today, so naturally my first impulse was to pull my phone out and tweet about it.
@StellaRtwot: Sometimes the last thing people hear before they're murdered is the sound of their pen that they won't stop clicking.
@abbycohenwl: "It's a banana in my pocket" "May I remind the defendant that he's under oath?" *averts eyes* "I'm glad to see you"