@christrew: Too many men hate it when I put both of my hands on their shoulder and ask if everything is alright take this guy at the urinal for example
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@MableGertrude: I wonder how many people come visit our country and then immediately leave after trying a slice of American cheese.
@Maxine12333: Treat your relationships as you would your teeth, daily attention and they could last a lifetime, too bad the same can't be said for hair.
@TheAlexNevil: Boss: You wrote one of your strengths is invisibility and that seems--what are you doing?! Me (giving him the finger): Wait--you can see me?
@mynameisntdave: GUY: I dare you ME: no G: I double dog dare you ME: no G: I TRIPLE dog dare you! ME: [realizing if I keep this up ill get a lot of dogs] no