@christrew: Too many men hate it when I put both of my hands on their shoulder and ask if everything is alright take this guy at the urinal for example
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@beardofprey: last night my dog shit on the floor then at some point the Roomba came and smeared it all over the house :D
@skullmandible: most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns
@BeardSpice: [God creating spiders] What if I made a tiny land octopus that could walk on walls?