@OBiiieeee: Took a poop without my phone. Had no idea what to do with my hands. Did the Macarena. What a day.
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@palokin: Still trying to figure out how to compliment a woman's skin without sounding like I want to wear it
@Chumpstring: genie: you have three wishes me: make firemen ugly genie: you got it me: instead of sliding down a pole make them climb out of a well genie: ok me: take the big ladder off their truck genie: dude what’s your problem
@FunnyMojoJojo: I went to bed last night and my brother came out of the closet and scared the shit out of me, I forgot we were playing hide and seek...