@Parker_Simpson: Took a screenshot with my iPhone with the intention of texting a picture of my cracked screen.So the answer is no I didn't graduate college.
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@Parkerlawyer: "Why did you leave your last job?" -I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"
@yoopnative: Just ran outside in a t shirt & panties to save a bird from my cat's mouth. My kid thinks I'm a hero. My neighbor wants to have drinks later
@TheToddWilliams: [Japan] HEAD SCIENTIST: Hey, what did you guys do with all the nuclear waste? *distant Godzilla noises*