@michaelianblack: Took me three hours to drive home through the snow, but it was worth it because when I got home, my family totally ignored me.
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@TeejayRush: Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces... For example, I'm going to the liquor store and I'm scared that it may be closed...
@cupcakelynda: Just opened the freezer and the vodka literally rolled out into my hands, no way I could ignore this sign from god.
@thepunningman: Dr: your father is real sick Woman: [sobbing] how long? [her dad wheelies past on a bmx] Dr: almost six yards that time