@OhHiAlyPie: Took my 3rd self-defense class, so if anyone feels like attacking me straight on, very slowly, w/ a fake knife in their right hand, BRING IT
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@myonlymizztake: Trying to do deadlifts at the gym, but I can't figure out where they hide the bodies.
@nishadtrivedi: What they're actually saying is "I can't even [finish this sentence due to the complexities of being a white girl on the existential level]"
@good2go013: How to tie the strongest knot ever: 1. Put some headphones in your pocket. 2. Wait one minute. Ta Da !
@Rollmaninoz: *Shrek pre-production meeting* Producer: Do we have a name for the dragon yet Guy who named the donkey “Donkey”: I was thinking Dragon sir