@WilliamAder: Took our cat to the vet today and, once again, she "forgot" her wallet.
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@coolidiot2000: [doctors exam] "I'm feeling a lump here. Here's another. You have several lumps." -uh oh, what does that mean doc? "it means you're fat"
@Matt_The_1st: I may not be able to out run the zombies when they come, but this cheeseburger is going to make me taste great