@RuthePhoenix: Took the batteries out of the carbon monoxide alarm because the loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.
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@johnlevenstein: My goal when I go to a friend's house for dinner is to befriend the dog to the point its loyalty is tested.
@jeffswarens: The wife just walked out of the store with bags and didn't notice me standing here. Maybe I need to put 75% off on my T-shirt
@lovemydogduck: I'm so sick and tired of my friends who can't handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me three time while carrying me to the car.