@fakegoldegg: toothpaste is a big scam. if ur tooth falls out, it stays out. toothpaste Will Not paste it back in.
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@_coryrichardson: me: i can’t make it to work today boss: why not me: [trying to make something up] uh.... my grandmas gerbil exploded boss: how does that keep happening
@danielvisme: I'm not staying up all night to get lucky. If it doesn't happen by midnight, I'm going to bed.
@nice_mustard: yes 911 i need to report a kidnapping. lol yeah there's a baby goat asleep in my lap. no dont send cops you'll wake him up