@llvvzz: Top three perverts that see you when you're sleeping:
@Kyle_Lippert: "I hope this makes them name a radioactive turtle after me" Michelangelo thought as he painted the Sistine Chapel "that would be hella rad"
@OhNoSheTwitnt: All of Ariel's mer-sisters' names started with A too. More like keeping up with the Karsplashians.
@YeahDrewisOn: My girlfriend is:
- super sweet
- light as a feather
- melts in my mouth when I eat her
- always at a circus
- possibly cotton candy
@nbadag: [me giving tour of city landmarks]
and on your left you'll see a corgi in a bandana—he's not part of the tour but let's go get a closer look
@WilliamAder: The only wisdom that comes with age is knowing which stores have the nicer restrooms.