@McNevich: Total shocker that you actually have to pay for things when you get to the register. Go ahead and dump your purse on the counter. We'll wait
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@UncleDuke1969: Me: Leonard Nimoy died today. Co-worker: From Star Wars? *goes home* Wife: How was your day? Me: Leonard Nimoy and a co-worker died today.
@bryanmcc74: Finally I have an excuse for getting fat, heard on radio about girl who been eating in her sleep ... That's it, I've got that !
@3sunzzz: *carrying dog* Clerk: no pets allowed Me: *closes eyes* It's my seeing eye dog. C: You tried that last week. M: IT'S MY SEEING EYE DOG!
@sophielou: If you are ever out in public and you see misbehaved kids running around - start running with them it really brings the nonsense to a halt.