@McNevich: Total shocker that you actually have to pay for things when you get to the register. Go ahead and dump your purse on the counter. We'll wait
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@DomBorrett: Saw a guy this morning covered from head to toe in camouflage and sporting a fluorescent safety jacket... You can't have it both ways mate
@iwearaonesie: She said, "Are you even listening to me? This is important!" I said, "I don't know, pizza?" And that's how the fight started
@Vice_Queen: [Me flirting with a twenty something] Him: When last did you get lit? Me: This morning. It was really sunny so I was well illuminated.