@DeborahPuette: Tough love is true love
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@SaraMansford: 911: What's your emergency? Me: This guy just died in my arms tonight. 911: How did he die? Me: It must've been something I said.
@WheelTod: My key takeaway from Ghostbusters was that once you're dead, your Miranda rights don't count for shit.
@El_nacho_Nigre: So, if 4 out of 5 people suffer some medical condition, does that mean the other 1 person enjoys it?
@crunchenhanced: [ In bed, trying to find a cold spot ] Ahhhh, there it is... Wife: Get off of me!!