@DeborahPuette: Tough love is true love
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@MattMcGruff: Officer- I'm giving you a ticket for your speed Me- That's heroin Officer-... Me- Want some? Officer-... Me- Oooh, shiny handcuffs
@Cheeseboy22: We can't afford to take our kids to a corn maze this year so we're going to take them to an IKEA instead.
@Spaziotwat: There are eleven types of people in the world: those that understand Roman numerals, and those that don't
@shutupmikeginn: It’d be funny if Hannibal Lecter was a terrible cook. Just microwaving kidney quesadillas or whatever. Mac & cheese with chopped up fingers.