Toy Story (1995) – A influential local leader harasses an immigrant who is struggling to adapt to local customs.
You Might Also Like
Always
It’s taking my husband like way longer to leave me for a younger woman than movies and tv led me to believe it would and honestly I’m pretty annoyed
I knew my 5yo was growing up too fast when he tried to take his shoes off and said “I don’t like bending down anymore”
We got a tornado warning, and I’m too scared to open my windows. Don’t want any sharks in my house.
I wish I had the same ideas and motivation during the day as I do when I’m trying to sleep
they split up moments later
Person 1: The glass is 1/2 full
Person 2: The glass is 1/2 empty
Excel: The glass is the 1st of February
High definition is like regular definition but it’s slightly paranoid and working on its second bag of Doritos.
You dance so good girl. Hell yes. That looks great. You are a flower swaying with the wind. Do the running man.
-Alcohol
*wears reindeer antlers*
*innocently smiles*
*bats eyelashes*
*steals your wallet*
The other day I opened the center console in my wife’s vehicle and chap sticks sprang out of there like snakes in a can.
Holy shit, I just saw my ex sister in-law get punched in the face eleven times with my fist!
I finally figured out what flies and mosquitoes are for. They’re gods way of making us slap ourselves.
Did you hear about the armored car guard who was really surprised to get fired?
He thought he had job security…
Got a new bottle of shampoo and now I’m using what’s left in the old one with the reckless abandon of someone who just won the lottery.
Cats (2019)
quick how do i lose 15lbs in a month without changing a single thing
I cannot imagine being as bored as the first person to poach an egg
Also, those little Swiss Army knives are great when you need a tiny pair of scissors to open your Gummi Bears like some kind of crack head.
This pregnancy test confirmed my worst fear… I’m just fat.
[mocking jay part 2]
jay: come on guys please stop
WIFE: Wanna split the last slice of pizza?
ME: Nah, you take it
KING SOLOMON (entering dramatically): You, sir, are the pizza’s real mother
i hate when you’re boiling an egg and it gets a crack in it and the egg’s ghost escapes. very scary and i don’t like it
[inventing the toaster]
engineer: Ok it burns the bread if you put it at 4
chief engineer: perfect. Make it go up to 8
And I was never asked to make anything for the school bake sale again
Learn how to read a book again simply by sticking a twitter Avi alongside every paragraph…….
Cop: You swerved into the other lane…do you know how fast you were driving?
Me: did I look like I was paying attention?
I cannot picture a single instance where I’d be scared of a zombie called “Rob”
What’s he gonna do? Show up uninvited to brunch and make us wonder if he’ll be rude to the server again?
Ok fella, maybe you can scare me into buying your over priced insurance policies this time.
i get a version of this tweet a lot. and i feel like i finally nailed the reply today.
so, ya know, showing off!
Me:Siri, why don’t I have any friends?
Siri:*shows me my Google search history*
M:Good call.