@Marlinaire: Trail mix? You mean M&M's with obstacles.
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@JohnnyCrash5: *Eats a Lean Cuisine *20 minutes go by. *Devours entire Pizza Hut store...including employees.
@DepressedDarth: All I want for Christmas is a stormtrooper who doesn't miss the target every time he shoots.
@mrjohndarby: Cop: I have bad news. It's your son. You need to come down to the mortuary Mom: But…how? Cop: Maybe get a cab?
@rickolantern: My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing. But I mean, 41 years, still alive. I kinda got it.