@TheNardvark: TRAIN TIP: A few minutes before the train arrives at your destination, get up and crowd around the exit so you can wait faster.
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@cdncyn: I got thrown out of the zoo today.... apparently you're not allowed to feed the ducks..... to the alligators........
@cat_beltane: "so what did you do before self-driving cars?" "we just drove 'em ourselves!" "wow, no one died that way?" "oh no, millions of people died"
@avaricious1: I saw a spider in my bedroom so I did what any man would do... I got in an argument with my wife so I could sleep on the couch.