@Ivsy01: Trainer: Are you wearing lipstick? Me: OMG no, that's just wine.
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@ValeeGrrl: My son can't wait to be a grownup so he can "drink caffeine and say 'shit' all the time" so let's never forget we're pretty much living the dream, you guys
@TheBoydP: Spoiler alert: Sometimes accountants are boring on purpose because we think it’s funny when we see people’s eyes glaze over.
@PonyMartini: Hell hath no fury like a toddler wants to "do it herself." Three hours later, I'm still waiting for her to get out of the car.