@Storminika: Why do people knock on a locked public restroom door? And what is the person inside to say? "who is it?"

@ItsAndyRyan: Bae: Are you coming over? Me: Yes, I'm coming over. - Me and Bae having CB Radio sex

@causticbob: The Water Board sent me a notice saying that my bill was a year old, I obviously apologised for forgetting, and sent them a birthday card.

@AnkCoupleTO: 1st Anniversary: Let's go to Vegas 5th Anniversary: Get a sitter so we can go to dinner 10th Anniversary: Russian roulette sounds like fun

@hazelmotes1: My coworker left my office an hour ago, but the smell of his cologne remains, like some kind of douchbag ghost.