@vineyille: Trapped in a crevice. “Go on boy, get help.” The dog chews off my one free arm. “Ok yeah bring that back to town I guess”
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@UNTRESOR: If you cut off a mommy blogger's head she can continue mommy blogging for up to three full minutes.
@underchilde: [Bank robber]: “Time to make a hasty escape.” *Passes a store window full of kittens* *Stands there for six hours*
@Mr_Bum_to_You: I hate it when I mentally undress a woman and my OCD kicks in and I start folding her clothes.