@vineyille: Trapped in a crevice. “Go on boy, get help.” The dog chews off my one free arm. “Ok yeah bring that back to town I guess”
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@trojansauce: GIRL: would you like to go out for dinner sometime? ME:*nervously looks around* MY MUM: *appearing from nearby bush* he only eats lunchables
@Yankeegiant72: I like listening to Phil Collins in the shower. He gets creeped out when he sees me, though.
@OctopusCavemann: It’s amazing how every single time I get fast food the person in front of me has never seen a fast food menu in their entire life.