@trayofcheese: Travel tip: If you’re gonna have a double Bloody Mary at the airport, remember to bring $17,000.
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@IvoryGazelle: Years ago I was able to find the trashcan in a friend's kitchen on the first try, and I've been riding that high ever since
@Birdhumms: I've had the same phone for over three years, so I know a thing or two about commitment and frustration.
@FuckabillyRex: I probably wouldn't know what to do with my hands if you were murdering me, but there's a strong possibility I would hug you really tight.