@CallMeDraper: Treadmills should just have one big button that says "Make Me Look Good Naked."
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@JediGigi: He said I won his heart and I was all "Ugh can I just win like $20? How about a sweater from Sears? A pencil? I could really use a pencil."
@meganamram: I love therapy sessions because I get to cry for an hour. It usually freaks out my patient, though
@nettie0918: Fastest way to occupy bored kids is to announce we are going to clean Voila Suddenly they all remember plans they've forgotten Ah quiet
@Terdoh: I typed "Cigarettes" in the search bar and it said "No Matches". The universe has spoken.