@thatUPSdude: Treat me like a semicolon and use me in all the wrong ways.
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@DanMentos: “Hello, Pizza Hut” Hi, how many slices are on a large pizza? “eight” And a medium? “eight” *long pause* I’d like to speak with your manager
@WilliamAder: Auto-correct turned "likeable" into "lickable" and the new intern is confused by her evaluation.
@CubanaMama82: I once got a ride home from the pizza guy by ordering 1 pizza to be delivered to the bar and 1 to my house. Pretty sure i deserve an award.
@RitleySammich: I just saved a whole bunch of money on my car insurance by hacking into State Farm's main server and deleting the 4 DUIs.