@thatUPSdude: Treat me like a semicolon and use me in all the wrong ways.
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@DanMentos: "do you know why I pulled one over on you?" becau- wait what? "I'm not a real cop lol" haha nice! *pulls gun* "I am taking your car though"
@leshnevsky: How to make a woman crazy in two steps: 1. Take a picture of her 2. Don't show her the picture
@AndyAsAdjective: "Daddy, did you know Pluto was recently reclassified as a dwarf planet, or plutoid?" "Sweetie, I'm pretty sure he's a dog."