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@ipalatsky: Treat your guests like family, so they don't stay too long.
@robfee: Where was the NSAs wire taps when the McCallisters were leaving messages with all the neighbors that Kevin was home alone? Thanks Obama.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: I am not the kind of girl you can take home to your wife.
@AlexvanBeek: I'm not saying it's been a while, but, the last time a girl got down on her knees for me, she showed me how to tie my shoelaces.
@ManiacallySound: I never cry over spilt milk.
But, beer? That shit's totally different.
@iwearaonesie: my wife's friend is so pissed i made fun of his lazy eye he's having a hard time even looking at me