@Kyle_Lippert: Treat your woman like a princess. Spice up your relationship & have her kidnapped. Then do mushrooms & swim through the sewers to find her.
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@AndyAsAdjective: My daughter has recently become deathly afraid of our cat. So I'm going to have to get rid of her. At least I'll have my cat to comfort me.
@TheReal_AndyMac: Thanks to Hurricane Sandy, my Facebook feed changed everybody from political analysts to weather people.
@SuitableHolmes: Do you know where my mexican hat is? - It's somewhere bro.. Fine...a sombrero, but what I'm asking is have you seen it?
@pixelatedboat: Good news, you survived the horrific car crash. Sadly we couldn't find the other guy's arms but we managed to reattach all four of yours