@SweetTweetsBRO: Trees have done a lot of shady things in their lives.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@katiefzack: I dress like a murderer when I walk through the sketchy park outside my dorm so murderers will be like "Oh she's cool she's one of us."
@RealDMK: "Daddy, I want to watch Dora." Sweetie this is Dora. It's the one where she plays an NBA basketball game against the Brooklyn Nets
@bourgeoisalien: At what point in listening to your kid whine can you say, "Sorry. This relationship isn't working out. You should start seeing other moms."
@msdanifernandez: My uber driver asked me how my day was so I opened the door and quietly rolled into the road.