@Dawn_M_: Trees put cats in their hair so they can flirt with firefighters when they climb up them.
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@AndyRichter: If you're not carrying around matchbooks from places you've been recently I don't know why you don't want your murder to be solved
@TheMichaelRock: After shaking someone's hand, I like to maintain eye contact while applying hand sanitizer.
@nocturnallyme: I could be wrong, but an escape goat strikes me as an awfully inefficient getaway plan.
@daemonic3: The coolest thing about dating Mystique from the X-men is the unlimited free food samples she can get for you at Costco.