@Dawn_M_: Trees put cats in their hair so they can flirt with firefighters when they climb up them.
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@UncleDuke1969: Wife: Well, they say a mirror adds ten pounds. Me: That's a cam- Wife: ... Me: Yes. Yes they do.
@SeanEmeny: My reaction to Kit Kat prices: $1 good deal. $1.25 ok. $1.50 whoa. $1.75 what are we at the OPERA?!