@Dawn_M_: Trees put cats in their hair so they can flirt with firefighters when they climb up them.
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@BillyYvonne: Two eggs, some bacon, and a piece of toast walk into a bar. The bartender says, hey! We don't serve breakfast here. #Tellyourworstjoke
@daemonic3: An evil villain is on the loose Ant-Man: Yellowjacket again? [giant kid with magnifying glass emerges] Ant-Man: You gotta be kidding me
@JustinSayne722: Teacher: Who fought in the Civil War? Millennial student: Captain America and Iron Man. T: ....
@Tmoney68: They say there's no such thing as a free lunch, but I'm at Applebee's & have a dead mouse in my pocket that says otherwise.