@trevso_electric: Trev's antisocial challenge: walk up to the first coworker you see and say, "I'm sorry you feel threatened by my triceps."
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@WritePlay: *Dino-Jesus preaching to the dinosaurs* "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." *Asteroid crushes Earth* "Dammit Dad."
@nealbrennan: I hope the bomber suspect is made of green screen so we can all project our most feared skin color onto him.
@KateWhineHall: I'm eating a vegan lunch today. Sure, it's six sleeves of Smarties and a Diet Coke, but I'm still better than you.
@HitsBelowBelt: You know that feeling you get when you meet someone and your heart skips a beat? Ya, that's arrhythmia. You can die from that.