@DeanOkay: Trick people into thinking you're a doctor by turning off taps with your elbows
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@AllanCresswell: Grampa: Back in my day, we slept on broken glass, you dunno how lucky you are. Me: Grampa, please. We have Twitter, at least you GOT sleep.
@Nursey2Be: Women are like bacon: we look good, we smell good, we taste good and we will slowly kill you.