@chris_coltrane: TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMICS EXPLAINED:
1) Rich people make money
2) It "trickles down" to offshore banks
3) Government closes libraries/hospitals
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@PhuckinCody: [first date] HER: i'm really into astronomy ME: [revealing my secret stash of Milky Ways] you don't say
@justinshanes: Amazon thinks my recent humidifier purchase was merely the inaugural move in a newfound hobby of humidifier collecting.
@sip_at_home_mom: If my toddler doesn't stay in bed this time, he's watching Game of Thrones. I don't even care that he hasn't seen the first season yet.
@soccerskiingmom: If any Americans still feel like emigrating to Canada, can you please bring up some Thanksgiving leftovers?
@MichaelTrying: Top 3 screwdrivers: 1. Tool for turning screws 2. Vodka and orange juice 3. Method of Uber payment
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