@TheSepticHermit: Tried belly dancing but ended up looking like an insect about to die.
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@McNarstle: Catch a baby opossum, give it a 12-hr sedative, and hide it in the glove compartment of the car of the person who's dating your ex.
@meganamram: Edison stole the idea for the lightbulb from the lightbulb that appeared above his head when he got the idea for the phonograph
@KyleMcDowell86: [in car] Wife: Dont tell ur arm story Me: Im gonna stick to humorous stories 2nite babe *at party* AND THAT'S WHEN MY HUMOROUS BROKE IN HALF
@Book_Krazy: I just found out that all the different colors in Fruit Loops are the same flavor, and now I don't know what's real anymore