@QueenKillerBee: Tried my hand at this whole 'cougar' business but I just don't like the taste of hikers. It's possible I read the wrong Wikipedia page.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MakesYouGiggle: Interviewer: Why did you apply for this job? Me: Because being broke and homeless didn't really call out to me.
@Sickayduh: "Well, congrats. You're a homeowner now. Any questions?" "Yeah. Sam put those glasses on eBay, why didn't the Decepticons just bid on em?"