@littlemy: tried to make a stew and accidentally summoned a demon again.
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@Thynebear: Executioner: Before we do this, what would you like for your last meal? "I'll have a panda please" [judge, under his breath] Can he do that?
@papasuncle: If you watch 2016 backwards, it's a heartwarming story of how celebrities can come back to life just by trending on the Internet.
@CubanaMama82: I dunno who decided on the spelling of bologna, but it's obvious he had no idea how letters work.
@Proxic0n: [Date] Me: So what goes in the bowl first, milk or cereal? Her: Trick question, I eat pizza for breakfast. *We just start making out*