@eric10F: Tried to pick a booger off my phone screen. Ended up calling my mom, signing up for AOL and getting an online degree in refrigerator repair
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@Pinky_0917: Open bottle, allow it to breathe. If it does not look like it's breathing, give it mouth to mouth -Beer
@causticbob: My grandfather was a boxer in the British Army. Which was completely unfair because the enemy had rifles.