@eric10F: Tried to pick a booger off my phone screen. Ended up calling my mom, signing up for AOL and getting an online degree in refrigerator repair
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@spacej_me: Sorry you handed me your baby and I immediately put it in the garbage I thought that's what we were doing.
@shegotagronk: Complimented Taylor Swift on her shirt yesterday and now she's in a tree outside my window with a guitar and a wedding dress. Send.Help.Now.
@CherBear162: Medication for depression "may cause thoughts of suicide". If this were so for all meds then: Diet Pills..may cause ravenous hunger
@Jfficial: People laugh cause I've got 3 cats, but come the next Ice Age, when I speed past you on my cat sled, who'll be laughing then?