@Ideal_Victoria: *tries to discreetly wipe up my spilled drink with your cat*
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KPsych29: Anything u say can & will be used against u, in an argument, 10 months from now, because I'm a woman. And, we never forget. Anything. Ever.
@GrillinChillin9: Smiles from ear to ear. Wife: what are you smiling about? Our dog just took a giant dump in our neighbors yard Wife: God I love that dog.
@DistractedMomma: Remember, you are faster and trickier than they are. - Me, to myself, when I'm fighting a kid at the playground for the last swing.
@Spaced_Cowboy00: If you're not sure how to spell a word, there are thousands of English professors on Twitter who will correct you.