@sixfootcandy: *tries to impress date by eating spaghetti with a straw*
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@3sunzzz: I occasionally call my son when he's with me so I can hear what my ringtone is on his phone. Last week I was the theme song from Psycho.
@jeffporper: Just ordered a pizza and jogged past my gym holding it over my head like the Olympic torch.
@bourgeoisalien: Only death will keep me from you. Or cake. Or Netflix. Or kittens....hold on, I have a list.