@sixfootcandy: *tries to impress date by eating spaghetti with a straw*
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@_mindflakes: Doctor: We need to double your meds Me: Will I still be able to knit little capes for my hamster? Doctor: We need to triple your meds
@bacon_gillepic: Stuffs more popcorn in my face* Why don't bad guys in movies just paint the red wire green?
@BadassBarbie11: The good news is, I blocked the creepy guy. The bad news is, I'm tweeting this from inside his trunk.
@DurtMcHurtt: When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "you did this."