@baeblacksheep: Trojan condoms were named after a city that was maliciously and deceitfully entered and then burned to the ground? Hmmm....
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@pleatedjeans: [approaches outdoor cafe holding balloon w/face drawn on it] Hello table for two ple- [large gust carries balloon away] OH NO MY WIFE
@MooseAllain: Writing a song about getting my front door lock replaced. There’s a lovely key change at the end.
@jonnysun: 5 lil monkeys jumping on the bed one fell off & bumped his head called the doctor & the doctor said U DO NOT HAVE A PERMIT FOR THESE ANIMALS
@NicestHippo: [my first day working on The Avengers set] *leans over to Joss Whedon* I hear this Josh Sweden guy is a real dork