@drinksmcgee: Trojan’s next commercial should just be a guy saying “See?” while pointing at my kids when they’re fighting over a cookie.
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@eileencurtright: Death hack: bury your loved ones with their fitness trackers for a low-cost early zombie alert system.
@Westoff123: Waking on campus and some girl said, "I like you a lot." And I turned around and said thank you and realized she talking to the guy with her
@Nocturnesthesia: Went for a handshake and got snubbed. So I turned it into an impromptu Macarena dance, since I didn't wanna look stupid
@rickygervais: Suggested Thanksgiving Conversation starters: "Which God are we thanking again?" You're welcome :)