@AntozWolf: True friendship is when you walk into someone's house, and your WiFi connects automatically..
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@DowntimeDad: I just want to have the poker face of a toddler that tells you that they didn't poop their pants.
@kelkulus: The quickest way to get a creationist to shut up is threatening to throw them off the edge of the earth.
@huntigula: why pay kristen stewart millions of dollars when a cardboard cutout of kristen stewart will give the exact same performance for free
@Shock_Monster: Driving back from funeral yesterday: Stairway To Heaven *click* Tears In Heaven *click* Highway To Hell *click* Macarena! *leaves it*