@AntozWolf: True friendship is when you walk into someone's house, and your WiFi connects automatically..
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@koalaslament: I never know what to do when someone tries to fist bump me, so I just slowly put their fist in my mouth
@GrumpyCatsMind: If you get angry, just take deep breaths and count to ten. Unless you're angry about oxygen and numbers.
@hell_homer: Gandalf chuckled to himself as the boat left shore. "I just noticed," he whispered, "your name sounds like Dildo" #LastLinesFromGreatBooks
@sumpeoplelikeit: I wish people were more like dogs and you could just give them those three little pats and they'd know our interaction was over.