@Thing_Finder: TRUE STORY: My wife and I cleaned the house last weekend and found that we both have children from previous marriages.
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@thenatewolf: ME: the internet used to come in through the phone. It made a terrible noise, like robots screaming. GRANDSON: hush grandpa take your pills
@jjhartinger: him: who is your fantasy? me: huh? him: who would you like to be stuck in an elevator with? me: the elevator repair man.
@ariscott: For someone so concerned with marriage licenses, God sure was focused on dinosaurs for 180 million years.
@donni: Finally, you get a cab. The driver is a golden retriever. You hop in and hope for the best