@Thing_Finder: TRUE STORY: My wife and I cleaned the house last weekend and found that we both have children from previous marriages.
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@JagAskell: Dunno how you Americans have the motivation and energy to pronounce the 'y' in 'basil' and 'tomatoes'.
@david8hughes: I lost my job because my manager heard me slapping one of the customers. He wasn't even at work. He heard from home.
@Matt_The_1st: "Dad, you were at 63%, so I unplugged your phone to plug mine in" *Drives ex-son to homeless shelter