@Thing_Finder: TRUE STORY: My wife and I cleaned the house last weekend and found that we both have children from previous marriages.
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@DurtMcHurtt: *attaches canes horizontally to dozens of old man walkers *watches slowest jousting match ever
@noog: At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, I'll never know.
@CelebrityChez: In retrospect, "so I guess we would all look the same if we were made into sausage" was probably weird small talk for a funeral.
@geekysteven: DORA: "Swiper, no swiping!" SWIPER: "oh, man" *Wealthier fox shows up, swipes everything* DORA: "That's OK, it'll trickle down"