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@QwertyJones3: [First date] HER: I want a man who is intensely passionate when he sees something he wants ME: PASS THE FREAKING SALT
@odannyboy: DC: Wonder Woman is too complex for a movie. Marvel: We just made $100m on a movie featuring a talking raccoon and a walking tree. In space.
@stevevsninjas: me: hi, can you tell me which is the bride's side? lawyer: guests are not allowed at divorce proceedings