@meganamram: Trump is a plant by the NRA to make liberals want to shoot someone
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@zacharyflynn: Hey babe i wanted to marry you but i had to ask your dad first and he said yes so i guess i'm marrying your dad
@ShaunRightNow: Smiling releases endorphins in your body, which relieves stress. All I have to do now is explain that to my proctologist when he's done.
@InternetHippo: Me for many years: I wish my friends were interested in politics Now that all my friends are interested in politics: Oh this sucks actually