@dave_cactus: TRUMP: Millions of Draculas are entering our country illegally from Transylvania. The security of our nation is a stake!
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@carlyken: Every Political Ad Ever: I'm a rich guy who's not like the other rich guy he's a total douche. *Paid for by my rich guy friends*
@AmberTozer: Girl: Gonna keep having sex with this guy until he changes for me Guy: Can't believe she keeps having sex w/me I better not change a thing
@CrankyPappy: I'm constantly amazed that only 26 letters in the alphabet can produce so much bullshit.
@TheReal_AndyMac: When a woman says, "We need to talk", it's no good. Never has a woman said, "We need to talk" and followed it up with "about pillow forts".