@SortaBad: Trump says that Obama founded ISIS but in his defense Donald thinks that founded is a synonym for "located"
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@MrJeberling: Once while eating bacon I said I was "getting piggy with it" and now I have no friends.
@gojarbe: "and this lake shall be called Superior" all the other Great Lakes: "k wow we're like right here"
@TheBoydP: "Why put a baseball bat up when you can just lay it down on a stair in the middle of the stairway? What could go wrong?" ~My son apparently
@TheToddWilliams: [robbery] ROBBER: Give me all your money! ME: I don't have it all with me. ROBBER: Dang!