@SortaBad: Trump says that Obama founded ISIS but in his defense Donald thinks that founded is a synonym for "located"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@VerifiedJayy: Good friends are hard to find. Especially if they stabbed me in the back. In fact you won't find them officer. Stop looking
@hippieswordfish: [arcade] KID: dad, some guy is hogging the claw machine DAD: hey buddy, why don't you give the kid a turn LOBSTER: BACK OFF WE'RE IN LOVE
@DanRegans: People ask me what my secret is to losing weight and I tell them not having money to buy food
@AnitaHelmet: I just want to apologize to all the guys I dated BEFORE I started using Prozac. And to their wives. And their local fire departments.